Friday, 16 December 2011
today's knight in the shining armour prefers to save his gadget (to avoid saying blackberry) than to keep the damsel safe right by his side. instead, he sends her back to the ivory tower and lets her die there alone.
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Thursday, 19 November 2009
A rule book for Gallic courtship
By Harriet Welty Rochefort from http://www.francetoday.com/articles/2007/09/14/french-women-don-t-date.html
My aunt, visiting Paris from Idaho, looked proudly at my teenage sons and popped the question.
"Now," she said, fixing a gimlet eye on her Franco-American nephews. "Where are your girlfriends?" She was obviously astonished to have seen lots of their "friends" but no "girlfriends" among them. My boys in turn were astonished: No one in France had ever brought the matter up-and they weren't about to tell!
Yet for my aunt the question was perfectly normal. Her children, slightly older, had "dated" and "gone steady" and done all those American things my Franco-American duo didn't seem to be doing-or, in any case, talk about doing.
Rest assured, I told her, they live in France, are half-French and as far as social relations are concerned, they've glommed on to their Gallic side. Actually, I'd never really considered the whole matter of girlfriends because French kids run around in groups, and if they pair off it is generally invisible to the human (translate parental) eye.
About the same time, I got a phone call from an American friend in Paris. "My family and friends in the States keep asking me who I'm ‘dating' or if I'm going to be out on a ‘date' on Saturday night," she lamented. "I'm having a really hard time explaining that in France people go out in groups and then just kind of end up with each other." We sighed. It is indeed complicated to explain the ambiguous, complicated and often opaque process by which French men and women pair off.
"It just kind of happens"
In the words of 36-year-old Laurence Bagot, a French journalist who spent a year at Harvard and admits she is as mystified by American dating habits as the Americans are by the French ones: "In France, getting together just kind of happens."
In a nutshell, everyone kind of seems to think that getting together in France just kind of happens! Which is true. And the funny thing is that even when people are together, you rarely know what their relationship is. Laurence says that at a Parisian dinner party she was seated next to a distinguished older man and woman. "I talked to them for three hours and didn't figure out until after I left that they must have been married for the past 40 years!" This "discretion"-or "secrecy," depending on how you see it-is not solely the domain of older people. French university students Gaëtan Akyüz and Lorraine Bonduelle are now "just good friends," but when they were a twosome, they said, "we didn't tell anybody." They recall that, on a trip to Turkey with a group of friends, no one knew they were together.
On purpose. For Lorraine, the choice to not reveal they were a couple came from a mixture of pudeur(propriety) and amour propre. The secrecy wasn't restricted to their pals. "I never would have told my parents who I was going out with, because [the relationship] might not have worked," says Lorraine. So how do you know if someone is with someone? "It's not easy!" they chime, almost in unison. Lorraine offers that "There might be mini details, signs, such as you might talk more to one person than another, or be seated next to him. But it shouldn't be obvious."
All this is very subtle-and very, very French.
An artistic haze
For the non-French who don't get the rules of the game, they seem to be the following:
l. Men pursue women actively: Vanessa McClure, a striking American redhead studying in France, observes: "A French guy gets your number and calls right away; it's not the three-day rule practiced by guys in the States who play hard to get and want to make the girls anxious."
2. If you act the way French women do, you won't get hassled: According to Nidal Kersh, a Swedish student in Paris, "French girls never get harrassed the way foreign women do, because they know the rules. They don't even pretend to be nice; they just cut you off if they don't like you. Parisian girls don't look anyone in the eye unless they want to initiate contact." Which leads us to the rule's corollary:
3. If you act American, you WILL get hassled, says 34-year-old Allison Lightwine, an American who was a single woman in Paris: "If an American woman acts like she does in the U.S., it's seen as extremely aggressive sexual behavior."
One naïve young American student who wished to remain anonymous said that her friendly, open conduct led to a situation in which she had to literally push an overeager French fellow out of her apartment. "He was really surprised and angry," she says. "He told me he thought American girls were faster, like the ones he'd seen on MTV!" (She learned her lesson, adopted Parisian habits, and is now with a charming French man who, she says, is nothing like that wannabe paramour from her past.)
4. When you're going out with a fellow, don't formalize it: Remember, this is the country where everyone knows the names of the kings' mistresses, but not necessarily their wives. That's history, but even today in France, the rush to the altar is superseded by the importance of what's going on between two people, a state several French men and women independently and poetically described as un flou artistique (an artistic haze).
There's little proclivity for fuzziness or ambiguity in the States, where, "after dating for a while," says Rachel Gogel, a 19-year-old graphic design student at the University of Pennsylvania who grew up in France, "you sit down and have a conversation to say ‘What are we? Are we official?' It's kind of an American thing, like: Are we on the same page?"
This desire for clarification may be the reason Allison Lightwine's French boyfriend went running. After going out with him for a few weeks, she sat him down for "the conversation"-and never heard from again. (She ended up marrying a Belgian.)
Yes, the French have their French ways, and while "speed dating" and even "turbo dating" have come to France, the French can't forget centuries of courtship customs, among them the light, elegant f lirting banter called marivaudage, after the 18th-century French playwright Marivaux. Banter, lightness, mystery. Do the French ever get serious?
Yes, so watch out for this rule:
5. If and when a French man brings a girl home to meet Maman and Papa, things are very sérieux indeed. My aunt, bless her soul, would be pleased to know that one nephew is now happily married-to the only girl he ever DID introduce us to. His younger brother, in true French style, is happily into his fifth year of living with the lovely young lady who also was the first and only one he brought home to meet les parents.
Who knows whether our youngest and his significant other will ever tie the knot? A recent study showed that some 48 percent of French men and women live together and have children with nary a thought of making it official at city hall. But that, as they say, is another-very French-histoire.
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
gw baru dapet fwd-an imel dari milis alumni... i found it hilarious... agak2 garing, but it cracked me up anyway...
hope y'all enjoy this ;D
kalo cowok ganteng berbuat jahat; cewek-cewek bilang: nobody’s perfect
kalo cowok jelek berbuat jahat; cewek-cewek bilang: pantes…tampangnya kriminal
kalo cowok ganteng nolongin cewek yang diganggu preman;
cewek-cewek bilang: wuih jantan…kayak di filem-filem
kalo cowok jelek nolongin cewek yang diganggu preman;
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti premannya temennya dia…
Kalo cowok ganteng pendiam; cewek-cewek bilang: woow, cool banget…
kalo cowok jelek pendiam; cewek-cewek bilang: ih kuper…
kalo cowok ganteng jomblo; cewek-cewek bilang: pasti dia perfeksionis
kalo cowok jelek jomblo; cewek-cewek bilang: sudah jelas…kagak laku…
kalo cowok ganteng dapet cewek cantik; cewek-cewek bilang: klop…serasi banget…
kalo cowok jelek dapet cewek cantik; cewek-cewek bilang: pasti main dukun…
kalo cowok ganteng ngaku indo; cewek-cewek bilang: emang mirip-mirip bule sih…
kalo cowok jelek ngaku indo; cewek-cewek bilang: pasti ibunya Jawa, bapaknya robot…
kalo cowok ganteng bawa BMW; cewek-cewek bilang: matching…keren luar dalem
kalo cowok jelek bawa BMW; cewek-cewek bilang: mas majikannya mana?…
kalo cowok ganteng males difoto;
cewek-cewek bilang: pasti takut fotonya kesebar-sebar
kalo cowok jelek males difoto;
cewek-cewek bilang: nggak tega ngeliat hasil cetakannya ya?…
kalo cowok ganteng bersedih hati;
cewek-cewek bilang: let me be your shoulder to cry on
kalo cowok jelek bersedih hati;
cewek-cewek bilang: cengeng amat!!…laki-laki bukan sih?
Kalo cowok ganteng baca e-mail ini;
langsung ngaca sambil senyum-senyum kecil, lalu berkata “life is beautifull”
kalo cowok jelek baca ini, Frustasi, ngambil tali jemuran, trus triak sekeras-kerasnya
“HIDUP INI KEJAAAAMMM….!!!”
Sunday, 19 April 2009
mereka setia pada dirinya sendiri, setia pada kelajangannya, setia pada pasangannya yang tak pernah ada, sehingga otomatis, mereka tidak pernah selingkuh!
manusia lajang gak perlu berselingkuh dan mengkhianati pasangannya, karena mereka memang tidak terikat komitmen dengan orang tertentu. jadi sah2 aja kan kalo mereka jalan dengan banyak orang, berganti teman jalan, menggilir teman curhat, bahkan teman tidur... whoops, yang terakhir sepertinya agak kelewatan ya ;D
makanya, untuk apa mengikatkan diri dengan pasangannya, dalam bentuk pacaran ato menikah, kalo ujung2nya masih juga tergoda untuk bermain api dengan orang lain? ato masih bisa jatuh hati dengan yang lain?
sori, gw cuma mau ngungkapin uneg2 kekesalan gw terhadap beberapa orang di sekitar gw yang lagi terlibat kasus perselingkuhan.
apa pun alasan mereka berselingkuh, buat gw, mereka adalah orang2 yang egois dan tidak bertanggung jawab. apalagi kalo mereka sudah menikah.
mending kayak kita, meskipun terlihat liar karena sering gonta ganti teman jalan, paling tidak kita lebih jujur pada diri sendiri n juga orang lain.
uhmm, btw, kalian gak ada yang pernah pacaran atau dekat dengan suami ato pacar orang kan? :D
Sunday, 22 March 2009
Tentunya kalian pernah dengar cerita tentang toko yang menjual calon suami?
Toko itu terdiri dari 6 tingkat. Perempuan-perempuan pengunjung boleh memilih calon suami dari lantai mana saja. Jika tidak puas dengan pilihan di lantai bawah, pengunjung boleh naik ke atas. Syaratnya, jika sudah naik ke lantai yang lebih tinggi, pengunjung tidak boleh turun lagi untuk memilih calon suami di lantai bawah.
Seorang perempuan pun kemudian terlihat memasuki toko tersebut. Di lantai 1, dia melihat papan pengumuman bertuliskan: "Lelaki di sini mempunyai pekerjaan".
Meskipun sempat tergoda, si perempuan memutuskan untuk naik ke lantai 2: "Lelaki di sini punya pekerjaan dan sayang anak".
Menarik. Tapi si perempuan ingin mencari yang lebih dari itu. Naiklah dia ke lantai 3: "Lelaki di sini punya pekerjaan, sayang anak, dan sangat ganteng".
Wow. Si perempuan tidak tergoda dan tetap lanjut ke lantai 4: "Lelaki di sini punya pekerjaan, sayang anak, super ganteng, dan suka membantu pekerjaan rumah tangga".
Luar biasa. Si perempuan pun merasa sangat takjub. Tapi entah kenapa, dia tidak berhenti dan terus lanjut ke lantai 5: "Lelaki di sini punya pekerjaan, sayang anak, super ganteng, suka membantu pekerjaan rumah tangga, dan sangat romantis".
Mengagumkan! Si perempuan pun mulai tergoda untuk berhenti. Tapi karena penasaran, dia terus naik ke lantai 6. Di lantai terakhir itu dia dihadapkan pada papan pengumuman bertuliskan: "Anda pengunjung ke-31.456.012 di lantai ini. Tidak ada lelaki di lantai ini. Lantai ini dibuat untuk membuktikan bahwa perempuan memang tidak pernah puas. Terima kasih sudah berbelanja di Toko Suami."
Di dekat pintu keluar terdapat papan pengumumam kecil: "Pemilik toko juga membuka Toko Istri di seberang jalan. Di lantai 1 tersedia calon istri yang suka seks. Lantai 2, calon istri yang suka seks, bir, dan punya uang. Lantai 3, 4, 5, dan 6 belum pernah dikunjungi."
Cerita tentang toko suami itu terasa seperti tamparan yang menggelitik (hah? bukankah mestinya tamparan itu panas dan menyakitkan?!!)...
Yup, yup, gue merasa seperti habis ditampar dengan pengalaman pribadi gue saat membaca cerita itu. Bedanya, di toko suami kualitas lelaki yang ditawarkan semakin baik tiap kita naik ke lantai atas; sedangkan dalam pengalaman gue, kualitas lelaki yang gue kencani--terkadang bahkan gw pacari--makin ke sini makin menurun.
Intinya, mungkin benar kalau perempuan tidak pernah merasa puas dan selalu berusaha mencari yang lebih baik. Cukup manusiawi, bukan? Dan bukankah laki-laki juga melakukan hal yang sama? Lagipula, siapa bilang mereka gampang puas?? They're one of the most demanding creatures ever to walk the earth!!
Pertanyaannya, apakah pencarian gue masih layak dilanjutkan? Ataukah perjalanan belanja gue sudah sampai di lantai 6??